Just because we’ve put together this list, in no way do we endorse any of the featured dads’ actions. But when it came to brainstorming this issue we were faced with a choice: top ten weatherman dads or top ten evil dads – and evil dads sounded a lot more meaty. They’re in no particular order this time too, as they’re all as bad as each other. Well, apart from Dr Evil, that is. He’s just make believe, obviously.
1 . DR EVIL
At last, a character to lighten this grisly list of murderers, torturers, dictators and sick pervs. Though Evil by name and by nature, Myer’s character wanted nothing more than to impress his son Scotty, and, like many of the other dads on this list, hand him control of his wicked empire. Touchingly, Scotty comes around to his dad’s way of thinking by the end of the trilogy and even buys his old man a present, which he is most pleased with: “Are those frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads?” VERDICT: SALVAGEABLE
2. FRED WEST
It was the disappearance of Fred and Rose’s daughter, Heather, which first alerted police to the grisly goings on at 25 Cromwell Street. Her body was the first to be found under the patio. Fred himself wasn’t sure how many children he’d fathered, not that he cared much for kids anyway; his sadistic treatment of them led to 31attendances at the casualty department of the local hospital and sent at least two to an early grave. VERDICT: SATANIC
3. IDI AMIN
The former Ugandan military ruler left a lasting legacy when he died in 2003 – most notably the half a million who were killed or vanished during his reign. Accused of cannibalism by his opponents, he kept severed heads in his refrigerator, fed corpses to crocodiles and had one of his wives dismembered. Mind you, he had spouses to spare (at least five) and fathered a rumoured 45 children. VERDICT: VILE
4. OSAMA BIN LADEN
Having had 13 children by four wives, Bin Laden has a solid enough gene pool to ensure that his evil work continues should he cark it (through old age, probably). Most likely to assume the role of figurehead is the 19-year-old Mohammed, who is the second oldest of the siblings and is already entrusted with ensuring his father’s security as he sleeps. Bless. VERDICT: DIABOLICAL
5. PAPA DOC DUVALIER
Brilliantly, Francois Papa Doc Duvalier’s son was known as Baby Doc in their native Haiti, but that’s where the brilliance ends. Papa Doc was supposedly an expert in voodoo who ruled the nation with brute force and terror, with his ruthless security force, the Tontons Macoutes, acting as real-life bogeymen who routinely executed his opponents. Baby Doc, took over after he died in 1971. VERDICT: CRUEL
6. BENITO MUSSOLINI
Despite making a complete hash of the whole war thing, Benito Mussolini was recently voted 34th greatest Italian in a TV poll, which was probably due to making the trains run on time or something. The Duce was survived by his wife, two sons and a daughter. His granddaughter Alessandra, is currently a deputy in the Republican Chamber and Member of the European Parliament for the fascist party Alternative Sociale. VERDICT: UNHINGED
7. JOSEPH STALIN
Stalin’s daughter famously defected to the West in 1967, and few could blame her. Her mum ‘committed suicide’, the Soviet regime dissolved two of her marriages and both her husbands were packed off to their deaths in Siberian labour camps. Joseph Stalin didn’t like to be crossed, y’see – as tens of millions of grieving families will testify. He also had two sons, and there are rumours of a third conceived during his exile in 1918. VERDICT: ATROCIOUS
8. ROBERT MUGABE
Despite being 81-years-old, the Zimbabwean berserker is still going strong, having ruled for 30 years. When his first wife Sally was dying of cancer he shacked up with his young secretary in a mansion called Graceland, and they went on to have three kids together, the youngest being eight. Mugabe’s days start at four in the morning with exercises, followed by a full schedule of furthering his country’s economic freefall and international isolation VERDICT: BRUTAL
9. POL POT
Saloth Sar was ruler of the Khmer Rouge and Prime Minister of Cambodia several years, during which time he kept himself busy by gruesomely murdering an estimated one in eight of the population – for reasons such as wearing glasses or reading books. He divorced his first wife in 1985 after she went insane and went onto remarry a much younger model, with whom he had a daughter. VERDICT: VICIOUS
10. SADDAM HUSSEIN
The former Iraqi President has been married three times (he ‘persuaded’ the last two to divorce their former husbands) and produced three sons and three daughters. Uday and Qusay turned out to be near carbon copies of their murderous old man and two of the daughters fled to Jordan when things at home got a little ‘sticky’. Still, he eventually persuaded them to come home with promises of pardons. And then promptly executed their husbands. VERDICT: MURDEROUS
